One of the most encouraging insights that has come from attachment research, is that secure relationships always have moments of rupture and disconnection. This is true even between us and our children. And, it is clear, that there is a way to handle those moments that allows for the relationship to repair and grow stronger as a result. The bath battle I describe in this video was not my finest parenting moment. I was wiping up the floor in a dysregulated state knowing full well my child was dee

So much of a secure attachment dynamic is built upon responsiveness. The rhythm of joining each other in moments of joy and moments of pain. Showing up for each other and allowing the relationship to be a place where we are both held and soothed. This can be utterly confusing and even uncomfortable if we did not grow up with secure family relationships and had to learn other coping patterns to adapt to our family’s disconnection. Which is the entire reason I wrote Securely Attached, and why I wr